Chatham & Aylesford's annual Afternoon Tea was enlivened today when a bunch of off duty train spotters, calling themselves Medway Against the Cuts, turned-up to picket.
Each time an old Volvo or Ford Fiesta stopped to drop off a load of elderly ladies wearing their best M&S cotton summer frocks they started chanting, "Here they come, the evil Tory scum." I was quite nervous when one old dear went over, I thought she was going to set about them with her handbag, but no - she apologised that she had left her hearing-aid at home and asked them to repeat what they were chanting, as she couldn't hear them very well. She then told them they needed to learn how to enunciate more clearly or no-one would understand a word they said.
After an hour or so, in best Tory tradition, I decided to share the proceeds of growth, and ventured down to see them, taking with me a tray of tea and a plate of cream cakes. "It's him, it's him" said one, clearly recognising me as the Kentish Tory Typhon. "Hi chaps", I said cheerfully. "Tories drink Champagne while the people of Medway starve" they chanted at me. Or two of them did - the other three clearly couldn't remembered the script. "You must be hot - I've brought you something to eat and drink", handing out the refreshments. "Don't take it brothers, don't let them buy you off with Tory teabags." said the chanter-in-chief. But it was too late. His Brothers had downed their placards and dived-into the plate-full of cakes faster than I could say Owen Jones.
"Where's Tristan?" I enquired (Tristan Osborne, Labour's Parliamentary Candidate for C&A). "He's too desperate to get himself elected to be seen standing-up for the working classes", said one of the comrades, "but we've got our ways of holding him to account." "That's interesting", I said, suddenly seeing my eve of poll leaflet writing itself. "Can I take a photo for my blog". They were happy to oblige.