Wednesday, 23 January 2019

The Face of Fremlin Walk

Office chat this morning turned to previous jobs.... and guess what? Our new West Kent signing Kane Blackwell told us that in a previous life he was a model!  Who knew?

His modeling assignments have included First Choice Holiday Villas in Mexico, where he starred with a pretty girl who was 8 inches taller, so poor Kane had to stand on two copies of the Yellow Pages to kiss her. 

But his great break was staring as Ben 10 in the TV advert for Ben 10 Alien Force: Galvanic Gunship. 

Sadly all good things come to an end, and for Blackadder his next assignment as "The Face of Fremlin Walk" (a sub-prime shopping mall in Maidstone) probably indicated his career had peaked. And now he works at West Kent Towers.  

Monday, 14 January 2019

Beware of the Kitten Eaters

It's that point in the campaign when emotions are running high and we are all getting stressed. This usually results in angry emails from candidates who are understandably upset about the half-truths and misrepresentations in the latest opposition leaflet.

"What are you going to do about it?" Or "We must print and send out a rebuttal."

My advice in such circumstances is DON'T!

Imagine this scenario..... Labour deliver a leaflet claiming, "The Conservative candidate eats kittens."

1. Labour loyalists read the leaflet and believe it as they want to believe the worst about you. But they we're never going to vote for you anyway.

2. Genuine floating voters will probably read it, but being fair and open minded will discard it as "spin".

3. Conservative voters, who will turn out for you, will probably not read a Labour leaflet and therefore will be blissfully ignorant about the cruel and untrue accusation. And if they do happen to read it, will discount the accusation as a "preposterous Labour lie."

We deliver a rebuttal. "I DON'T EAT KITTENS" says angry Conservative candidate.

1. Labour voters (who are the ones who believed the accusation probably won't read your leaflet. And those that do will say "well.... he would deny it, wouldn't he. Bloody Tory."

2. Floating voters, who will probably read the leaflet, will say "why does he need to deny such a ridiculous thing. What has he got to hide?"

3. Conservative voters, who are unlikely to have read the Labour leaflet, will almost certainty read yours and will now wonder why you have gone to the trouble of denying something they didn't know anything about.

What will have also happened...

EVERY voter in your ward will have received TWO leaflets talking about you being a kitten eater. And NO leaflets talking about low Council Tax, good services and your record as a champion for local residents.

My advice has therefore always been the same.

NEVER allow the opposition to dictate the campaign narrative.

NEVER justify a lie by repeating it.

NEVER let your opponents see they have irritated or upset you.

NEVER be distracted into talking about the issues they want rather than the issues we want.

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Where's my money? Hair today - gone tomorrow!

As well as being our hardworking West Kent Agent and a Borough Councillor, Jon "Paperclips" Botten is also in charge of fundraising for his local branch in Tonbridge, and on 17 January he is hosting a fish and chip supper with Angus MP, Kirstene Hair. 

But all is not well with the finances!

When the Association's book keeper published the draft accounts, nothing was showing against the Tonbridge branch quota as income for this event, prompting an enquiry from Paperclips "where's our money gone?

After a great deal of head scratching, back came the reply:

"My knowledge of Scottish MPs is limited. Sorry. When I saw entries in the ledger for K Hair Event I assumed it was an evening about hair products and allocated the income to the Woman's Committee."

I should place on the record that our book keeping is outsourced and he is not a Party member!