Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Eve of poll gossip from West Kent

Best wishes to Tunbridge Wells Conservative Association President, and Deputy Leader of Kent County Council, Alex King MBE, who is having an operation today to reset a broken leg bone. 

Alex 'came a cropper' whilst delivering leaflets yesterday in one of the rural villages in his Division, apparently the accident happened when he tripped over a Lhasa Apso. 

I am unable to confirm that it was the dog, and not the hair of the dog, which was the real cause of the accident.   Get well soon, Alex!

An activist from Westminster just 'happened to be passing through' yesterday and offered to assist with the County Council campaign. He informed me that their agent has resigned and they are looking for a replacement. Apparently they pay £20,000 pa more than I earn in West Kent plus a "five figure annual bonus". And here is the big one - the job goes with a "grace and favour" two bed room apartment in Belgravia!  The volunteer enquired if I would like to be considered.  Locals will be *delighted / *disappointed / *relieved / *aggrieved (*delete as appropriate) to hear that I declined the offer.  As much as I would love to double my earnings and live rent-free in Belgravia, I fear the Westminster Association would have a few too many of the red-trouser brigade (like those you see photographed at GENEVA whenever Boris is there).  Forelock tugging and tolerance are not among my strengths! 

News from Tunbridge Wells. One of our County Council candidates hosted a dinner party last evening for his key helpers. During the cheese course, one of the guests lost part of his tooth. Not knowing what to do he hid it under a piece of cheese. I did assure him that all would be well. Being a former Chairman of the County Council the host would be familiar with people who could remove their teeth so they could be soaked overnight in Sterident rather than hid under the Cropwell Bishop.

Another snippet from Westminster. Last year there was a by-election following the resignation of Council Leader, Colin Barrow. As so many voters lived in gated communities or in apartments with a concierge, the activists decided the best way to knock-up on polling day was by telephone. They met at the Association Office at an agreed time, but found a large piece of material on the meeting room table. This was quickly discarded into the corner so they could use the table for phones and paperwork. Within minutes the Agent appeared, bewailing that they had dumped his new hand made curtains for his Tuscan villa on the floor. "And just why are you all here?" he asked. When they explained they were phoning pledges for the by-election he apparently looked very nonplussed... "but must you do it today?"

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