We have a little tender....

A little tender what? I hear you ask.

Actually, a little tender as in,

"Nautical A vessel attendant on other larger vessels, especially one that ferries people or supplies between ship and shore, or into waters too shallow for the larger vessel to navigate." 

After a few false starts, we finally shook hands on a deal this morning. The seller is a lovely old chap who has been using her for years, but has recently found advancing age is making it difficult for him to navigate.

Before buying this one, we had considered a few others. One of the oddest viewings was of a lovely looking boat in Little Venice Marina at Yalding. The photographs on Ebay showed a delightful, well maintained and much loved boat with lots of polished teak and brass. When we got there, the actual boat was a completely different make and model to the one advertised; with pools of stagnant water in the cabin and strewn with beer cans and signs of advanced osmosis. The woman selling it was equally odd. She spoke with a heavy eastern European accent, like Zsa Zsa Gabor's country cousin, and refused to meet us as, "in my country ve neva do bizeness in ze morning". Perhaps she was Transylvanian? 

We had to collect the keys at 10.00am from a woman named Sally, whose name wasn't Sally, but Caroline. Sally (or Caroline) worked at the marina, but she had never met Zsa Zsa Gabor either. Her monthly mooring fee was always pushed through the letterbox in cash, and at night. Just as we stepped on the boat Zsa Zsa rang. "How do you like my little boat" she asked. It was spooky, as if she was hiding in the woodland watching us. "It's appalling, we wouldn't have it if you were giving it away and you should be done for false advertising", I ranted. "How about if I knock £1000 off the price?" Considering she was only asking £2,000, this was quite a reduction, but still we weren't tempted. "In zat case, pleaze hand ze key back Zally."  "Her name isn't Sally, its Caroline..." Click - by this time Zsa Zsa  had returned to her vault.
So now, we are a two-boat family. She isn't glamorous and she has very little style, but she will do exactly what we want her to - transport us up and down the Medway, on day and weekend trips away.

She has a powerful outboard motor, able to punch against the strongest tide, a cosy little forward cabin which converts into a double berth, a two ring cooker, fresh water supply and loo.

Soon we'll be running day trips to Snodland, Strood, Gillingham and the Isle of Sheppey. Form an orderly queue, please.