Several years ago the winner of the "stupid things to ask your parliamentarian to do" award was the man from Snodland who phoned up wanting Tracey Crouch to fix his leaking toilet... "well, MPs fix things, don't they?"
The is however a new winner.
Earlier today a man phoned the office asking to see his MP. As always I enquired what it was about, hoping I could either help or direct him to someone who could, thus avoiding waiting for the MPs next surgery.
It transpired that the man has just been to Debenhams in Lakeside and was dismayed because he sat down at a dirty table where the previous occupant has spilt baked beans. The man had placed his plate on top of the beans, which subsequently made the bottom of his plate dirty, thus 'ruining his dining experience'.
Apparently his MP should intervene to instruct a department store manager to ask his staff to clean up baked beans more promptly.
I suggested it would have been simpler for everyone had he not chosen a dirty table and then, having done so, put his plate on top of discarded food.
This suggestion seemed to catch him by surprise.