Thursday, 17 December 2015
Don't you know who I am....?
Ring ring... ring ring...
AK: West Kent Campaign Centre, how can I help?
Voice on phone: "Now, listen here. I've received a Christmas card from this chap Toog... Tuugeeeyy....Tug-ind-dat. Or however he pronounces it. And I wish to send one back. Give me his address would you.
AK: OK, the fastest way to reach him is via his office in the House of Commons, Do you have a pen and I will give you his address.
"No No No. I don't want to write to the bloody House of Commons and get some slip of a girl reading my message. I want to send it to him at home."
AK: I am afraid I cannot give his home address.
Why ever not? He does live in the constituency, doesn't he?
AK: Yes, of course. But there are security implications - we live in difficult times
"But don't you know who I am?"
AK: Afraid not, Sir. You didn't tell me.
"I am Fanshawe-Peakes." (obviously not real name).
AK: Thank you, but I am afraid I don't actually know you and I still cannot give you his home address without his consent. I am sure you understand.
"What do you mean 'you don't know me'. I have just informed you who I am.
AK: Indeed, but as we don't know each other, I don't actually know that you are Mr Fanshawe-Peakes.
"Who the hell do you think I am? The Sultan of Brunei?"
AK: Well, in fairness, if you were trying to find his home address for other motives, you wouldn't phone up and say, "Hello, I am from the Daesh, can I have the MPs home address?"
"Of for Christ's sake, in that case he can stuff his Christmas card. I will save a stamp. No skin off my nose."