Highlight (or perhaps the low point) of all the counts I attended was finding myself in a heated debate with a Presiding Officer over a spoilt ballot paper.
A voter had drawn seven penises alongside the names of all seven candidates on the ballot paper. Six were flaccid, apart from the one alongside the Conservative, which was standing proud. The Presiding Officer declared it an invalid vote. I wasn't giving up without a fight. To me it was a clear intention. I even found Case Law - previously a judge had accepted that a "happy face" drawn alongside the name was a valid vote. If a "happy face" is allowed surely a "happy willy" should be accepted, too.
The row between a bloody-minded agent and a somewhat po-faced Presiding Officer raged on for several minutes before the absurdity of the situation got the better of me and I gave up the fight. The Labour candidate sniggering next to me didn't help nor did the intervention of a Lib Dem activists who asked "how can one be sure that an erect penis is a sign of approval?"
Probably just as well to concede on this one. It never would have stood up in court...
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