Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

Ring Ring, Ring Ring

"Tunbridge Wells Conservative Association, how can I help?"
(You can tell Jon Botten answered the phone by the polite greeting)

Is Andrew Kennedy there?
"He's a bit tied-up, can I help you?"

And to whom am I speaking?
"Jon Botten, Andrew's assistant."

Well, this is Cynthia Boscowan (not real name) from Langton Green and I am phoning to complain about the raffle tickets. They're not good enough.
"What exactly don't you like about them?"

Well, I don't like the labels. The address labels which you sent with the tickets to put on the counterfoils. I just don't like them. Unacceptable.
"What exactly is wrong with them?"

Everything! They're just not appropriate.  And another thing, my name was wrong on the labels, it's not good enough.
"What did we do wrong with your name?"

You put Mrs Boscowan and it should have been Mrs C Boscowan.  Standards are slipping. I hate it when you get things wrong. 
"Well thank you for phoning and I will note your comments. Just so you are aware, since we started sending self addressed labels, sales have nearly doubled, so some good has come from them."

Well, that's immaterial - you still got it wrong. It's not good enough.
Goodbye.

Click.