Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Agent Andrew's 10 Laws of Political Reality

1. There is a direct reverse-correlation between members who are always free when a Minister visits, but are never available when there are leaflets to deliver.

2. The Executive Council members who complain loudest about postage are invariably the same people who need to be sent two or three reminders to pay their subscription.

3. The 'Keyboard Warriors' who believe elections can be won online have never actually won any election in the real world.

4. An experienced Agent can spot within minutes the member or volunteer who is simply seeking to build his (or her) CV to impress the Parliamentary Selection Board.  Yawn. 

5. If all the people who phone to say "I am never voting Conservative again" were telling the truth, we would not have any supporters left at all.  

6. The Conservative Party is not "literally dying on it's feet". Look at any old newsreel footage through history - we have always been packed to the gunwales of old dears in tweed suits.

7. There is no link between serving on Council committees and winning elections.

8. The members who delight in phoning to inform me what the Lib Dems are doing are always the same people who never actually do any work themselves.

9. The Councillors who complain most about the new mandatory re-selection rules are those who have most to fear from them.

10. And finally, there is nothing wrong with MERLIN. It works perfectly fine - better, in fact, than Blue Chip. The only thing wrong with MERLIN are the negative people who operate it with the intention of proving that it doesn't work!


  1. Oh, Andrew, been there, done that. Love your 10 rules. You've restored my faith a bit especially with No 3. It's good to know there are some still practising who think like this.

  2. Thanks for your comment, Tricia. Have we met...I know a few Tricias. Best wishes