Cold Turkey

Today I attended my sixth Christmas meal of the season. There's quite a psychology in organising these Christmas parties - the way they are run speaks volumes about the style and personality of the organiser.

Today's event ran like clockwork; but what else would you expect from the Tunbridge Wells Conservative Ladies? The trick is how to prompt people into remembering what they ordered, The fact being, unless you are tragically anally retentive, you will not remember what you chose from the "Christmas Banqueting Menu" which was sent to you in August along with the booking form.

Over the years I have seen all sorts of methods. Sometimes the table host has a secret list. Today we had a pre-printed list on each table with the choices printing alongside your name. The cleverest I have ever seen is a series of codes written on your place card.

Last Monday I attended a dinner with local councillors, where the organiser relied on people remembering what they had ordered, which was asking for trouble considering some of them cannot remember what day of the week it is. 

The only list available was held by the waiting staff - but that only had first names, many of which were duplicated; for example we had three Andrews and four Johns. Matters were further complicated by the fact that there had been two menus circulating for the same event (one menu was actually for the local Masonic dinner which was sent around in error by the organiser, having mixed-up his email lists).   Each time a plate of food came out of the kitchen, the poor waitress had to shout "Ray, this is Ray's goose. Ray ? RAY?" Unfortunately Ray (along with several others) is as deaf as a doorpost, so by the time someone had realised they were calling his name and poked him into action, the waitress (along with the goose) had vanished back into the kitchen. 

Notwithstanding the above, today's lunch was super - so a big thank you to the Tunbridge Wells Ladies who organised everything, along with a thank you to Giuseppe Cappellazzi and his staff at The High Rocks in Tunbridge Wells, who always look after us.

And most importantly of all; thank you to the TW Ladies Group, who not only organised the lunch, but also presented me with a magnificent cheque for £1,200 towards Party funds. Well done to Judith, Susan, Jenny, Thelma, Jane, Gillian and all who work so hard for the Party in TW.

From Left: Thelma Huggett (Treasurer), AK, Susan Potter (Deputy Chairman) and Greg Clark MP
I am holding a cheque, presented by the Ladies Group to the Association, for £1,200