Wednesday, 23 October 2013

There's nothing worse than being taken by surprise !

Just returned from Millbank Towers where we were briefed on how we can assist our target constituencies with General Election preparation. Now obviously I am not going to tell any secrets, but 10 minutes of the meeting was so surreal it felt as if I was trapped in a badly scripted Carry On film. What made it amusing was the main characters had absolutely no idea that what they were saying was in any way smutty or open to another interpretation. And the agony enhanced by how deadly serious the conversation was being taken, and how long it continued. For the naughty schoolboys on the back row, it really was the gift that kept on giving.
 
Talking of mutual aid (campaign support from one Association to another) the CCHQ Oberleutnant announced,
 
"Now by now you should all know which of you are givers and which of you are receivers."
 
Within nanoseconds I heard a snort of amusement from my left, as one of my two compatriots was making up his own jokes. I determinedly stared ahead, afraid that any eye contact would only make the situation worse.
 
"Excuse me, but I'm from Surrey. Are we giving or receiving, I don't know what I am supposed to do", said a man two rows ahead.
 
"We've always been receivers but suddenly we've been asked the change roles, and we're not sure about it" added  a man in a pink shirt. 
 
On and on it went, grown men talking about giving and receiving. Then it came, the comment which tipped us over the edge, into the realm hand-biting chair rocking convulsions...
 
"Well if you want my opinion, some of the receivers should show more gratitude for what they are getting. All they do is take take take and give nothing back in return," said an angry man with a puce face.
 
We were assured that "roles would be developed locally, taking past arrangements into consideration".  Apparently "no-one from CCHQ would force us into any role we didn't feel comfortable with."
 
Finally it all died down.
 
Right, next question. Yes...the gentleman at the back......
 
"Hello, I'm from (Xxxxxxxxxxxx). I'm worried about UKIP taking us by surprise from behind..."


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