Last night I had the good fortune to dine at the Carlton Club as the guest of one of my local councillors. I have never been to the Carlton Club, although I knew roughly where it was on St James's Street. I was therefore unsurprised when my taxi driver dropped me off outside a distinguished yet unpretentious building. I announced myself to the porter who was charming and welcoming, and showed me into the bar to wait. A courteous bartender welcomed me and offered me a glass of Champagne, which was served with hot cocktail sausages and mustard. When hearing I was 20 minutes early, he appeared with a selection of newspapers (and yes, they really had been ironed!) Everything around me reassured that all was well. The expensively suited men with their honeyed RP accents. The photographs of Prime Ministers hanging from the walls and spotting Steven Norris chatting to Lord Baker in a quiet corner
Fifty minutes and two more glasses of Champagne passed, and my host was now cery late. Concerned that I might be waiting in the wrong place, I asked the porter to confirm the time of our restaurant booking. After a few minutes he returned. "I am very sorry Sir, there is no dinner reservation in that name. In fact, the Club does not have a member with that name either...." He then, very gently, asked where exactly we had agreed to meet. "In the bar at 7pm". "And which Club, Sir?" "The Carlton", I replied. "Then I believe I have identified the problem, Sir. This is Brooks's. The Carlton is five doors away."
I apologised profusely, gathered my coat and briefcase, and asked to pay for my Champagne. "It's with our compliments, Sir. You deserve it for sitting here for an hour"
Fortunately, my host was waiting and was sufficiently amused by my faux pas to forgive my late arrival. .Dinner, for the record, was superb. Potted shrimps, rare sirloin and thrice cooked chips with pea puree followed by Stilton and home made walnut bread. A bottle of Pol Roger to start, house Claret with the steak and the most sublime Chateau d'Yquem to close.
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Beware the Disillusioned Optimists
Yesterday I had a day away from the office; I
was in London
The
meeting was held in the Chelsea, Kensington and Fulham Conservative Association
Office. I have long wanted to visit this office, often referred to in
approving terms by Alan Clark in his Diaries. Situated in a lovely red-brick
Victorian building owned by the Earl of Cadogan and situated in Chelsea Manor Street Kings
Road
The
first door I reached had a buzzer with a hand written sign above it "this
door does not open and the bell does not work, please use the door to your
right." Now having a bell which does not work is not unusual, but having a door which does not open is a sign of being special. Only the most wealthy Conservative Associations could afford the luxury of a non-opening front door, safe in the knowledge that their second front door will open when required. If Tonbridge & Malling had a front door which did not open we would be in trouble, as no-one would ever get in - which, on second thoughts, would be quite an advantage when my Chairman turns up for a 'strategic review".
Once
inside, the reality crashed around me. It was just like every other
Conservative office from Aberdeen
The
meeting hall was fine but freezing cold. Blue stacking chairs which didn't
quite match the carpet. These old house were notorious for the cold and
most had numerous yellow Labradors to act as
additional blankets. No such luxury for us; just the heat from Julian
Walden's data projector. 'Don't worry', said Julian, "it will soon
warm up when the delegates arrive". Unfortunately a combination of
the Eastleigh By Election and cancelled trains due to frozen points resulted in
just 10 of the planned 30 "delegates" actually turning up.
First
up was the great Alan Mabbutt, the Party's Legal Officer. He presented on
the latest polling trends and updated us on changes in election law.
Disillusioned Optimists are a key battleground. Did anyone know who these
people were? Apparently they all read the Daily Mail and think the country's
going to hell in a handcart. Sounds like most of my branch committees!
He then showed a thirty year line graph with peaks and troughs in
Conservative support. "Does anyone have any idea why we peaked at
the 1992 local election?" he asked, hopefully. Blank looks all around.
Suddenly I realised that none of the people there (apart from the three
apparatchiks) were around in 1992, the last time we actually won a majority. A
chill ran down my spine...was it the cold room or the thought of 'one more
heave'?
Lunch
was served, two platters of M&S Sandwiches and a packet of grapes. And
coffee. You would think being in Chelsea
Finally,
I was up (first on after lunch). This is known as the graveyard slot -
and graveyard would have been livelier. I was competing with hypothermia,
indigestion and boredom - and I suspect hypothermia, indigestion and
boredom won. My presentation, aimed at a lively crowd of thirty, didn't quite
work when presented to a group of ten, huddled together to preserve body
warmth. To try and get them going after lunch I opened with my series of
out-takes and bloomers from previous election leaflets. (See HERE). The low point
was when I told them about a councillor advising residents in a leaflet that he
would speak to a lady who caused an obstruction to others by failing to trim
her bush. Half of my audience had no idea what the joke was about and the
half that did were too embarrassed to laugh. And if you thought it couldn't get
any worse, it did. Right on cue a very well spoken lady from the shires
asked, "why is that funny, I don't understand."
Then
we were on to the 'sharing best practice' session. Someone was anxious about
candidates using the photocopier and not telling him. A nice young man from Essex in
a three piece suit spoke at length about Google Analytics and adding columns on
Tweetdeck to keep an eye what the Twitterati were saying about your campaign.
There was a discussion about whether it was worth spending extra to use 100g
paper. Someone else wanted to know if he bought a box of pens from the local
Pound Shop would they have to be declared. Then they all went home.
Julian
started clearing the plates and cups and I started to wash-up, when the Association
Agent appeared. "Oh, there's no need to do that", he said, "the
housekeeper comes in at 4pm - she'll take care of the dishes." A
housekeeper! The joys of being in Chelsea
Saturday, 9 February 2013
A Latter Day Lord Chamberlain
Up to the
introduction of the Theatres Act 1968, one of the responsibilities of the Lord
Chamberlain was to act as Official Censor, with particular regard to plays and
theatrical productions. The Joe Orton Diaries are packed with angry exchanges
between the playwright and the Office of the Lord Chamberlain. Orton's partner,
Kenneth Halliwell, came up with 'Prick Up Your Ears" as a direct challenge
to the Lord Chamberlain's objection to an earlier title. Ironically, Prick Up
Your Ears was passed by the Lord Chamberlain without comment, his office either
not noticing or not understanding the obvious anagram. I have always been fan
of the work of Orton, and do not think Halliwell ever received the credit he
deserved for nurturing Orton and his influence on his writing. Having said
that, if you bludgeon your partner to death then take your own life with an
overdose of painkillers, it's not surprising that history doesn't judge you
well.
Every year, as we approach May, I think of myself as a latter day Lord Chamberlain, as I wade through page upon page of candidates' election addresses, striking out the mad, bad and dangerous prose before it reaches the printer. I am blogging about this as on Monday I will be speaking at a training event for voluntary election agents at CCHQ, and part of my presentation will be on ensuring candidates present themselves in the best light.
For your amusement, here are some of the howlers which failed to survive my 'blue pencil' over the years.
"I am concerned about increasing amounts of excrement on Camden Road.
Personally, I don't know if we should blame the dogs or their owners."
"We are fortunate to live in one the nicest areas of (town), and for the last twelve years I have followed a policy of leaving you alone. Unlike some of my colleagues I don't knock on your door to ask if I can help you. I don't push newsletters through your letterbox, blowing my own trumpet. I don't hold surgeries or "advice centres" as I don't wish to spend every 2nd Saturday sitting alone in a cold church hall waiting for someone wearing a tin foil hat to turn up and harangue me. I ask for your support again on Thursday 3 May on the promise that if re-elected, I shall continue to fight against excessive Council waste and spending whilst leaving you in peace until the next election."
Every year, as we approach May, I think of myself as a latter day Lord Chamberlain, as I wade through page upon page of candidates' election addresses, striking out the mad, bad and dangerous prose before it reaches the printer. I am blogging about this as on Monday I will be speaking at a training event for voluntary election agents at CCHQ, and part of my presentation will be on ensuring candidates present themselves in the best light.
For your amusement, here are some of the howlers which failed to survive my 'blue pencil' over the years.
"I have proudly represented your interests on the Upper Medway
Sewage Board, and prior to that the Medway Drainage and Sewage Commission,
for 26 consecutive
years."
"Having lost my mother, father and sister in somewhat tragic
circumstances,
I thought I would turn my hand to local government."
I thought I would turn my hand to local government."
"Despite having lived in the village for 22 years, very few
people will
know who I am. This is
because I like to keep myself to myself. Most of you,
however, will know my wife
Joy, as she is far more active locally and plays
a busy role in village life.
In fact, many will wonder why she isn't standing
for election instead of
me."
"I was first elected to the Council when Winston Churchill was
a
Member of Parliament. In
that time I have been Mayor of (insert council) twice,
Mayor of (insert another council)
twice. But I have only been Mayor of (insert council) once. I very much hope you will re-elect me as I
would very much
like the honour of being
Mayor a second time before I retire."
"Many of you will know that since retiring as a hairdresser, I
have set-up a small hypnotherapy business, offering help and support to those
suffering from anxiety,
tobacco and drug addiction and obesity.
If any of the above applies
to you, please contact me for help.
I offer a 10% discount to
any local resident who produces this leaflet at the time of payment."
"I am grateful to residents of Hilbert Road for returning my
recent questionnaire. I will contact Highway's regarding the illegal parking. I
will also speak to the lady at No (x) who apparently never trims her bush thus
causing nuisance to others."
"I am concerned about increasing amounts of excrement on Camden Road.
Personally, I don't know if we should blame the dogs or their owners."
"We are fortunate to live in one the nicest areas of (town), and for the last twelve years I have followed a policy of leaving you alone. Unlike some of my colleagues I don't knock on your door to ask if I can help you. I don't push newsletters through your letterbox, blowing my own trumpet. I don't hold surgeries or "advice centres" as I don't wish to spend every 2nd Saturday sitting alone in a cold church hall waiting for someone wearing a tin foil hat to turn up and harangue me. I ask for your support again on Thursday 3 May on the promise that if re-elected, I shall continue to fight against excessive Council waste and spending whilst leaving you in peace until the next election."
Thursday, 7 February 2013
Advice for Parliamentary Hopefuls!
An article of special interest for any Parliamentary hopefuls!
The village pictured above is a lovely but not untypical example of the hundreds of villages and hamlets which make up the Tonbridge & Malling Parliamentary constituency. It nestles beneath the North Downs Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. It is called Trottiscliffe. And it's dangerous!
Why is it dangerous? Because, along with many of its neighbours, the pronunciation of its name lays a vicious trap which has caught-out hundreds of newcomers, grockles, interlopers, estate agents, delivery drivers - and, I suspect, soon to be Parliamentary hopefuls.
Later this year Tonbridge & Malling will commence the procedure to select a new candidate. Due to longevity and outstanding service of our incumbent Member, Sir John Stanley, there has not been a Parliamentary selection for over 40 years. Sir John was selected in 1972 and has served the constituency ever since. Viewed now as one of the Grey Beards, Sir John was once Margaret Thatcher's PPS and for much of the 1980s and early 1990s he was a Minister of State for inter alia Armed Forces, Housing and Northern Ireland. My office still has the steel plated bomb and bullet proof front door as a memento of his time in Ulster! The sale of council homes to sitting tenants (one of the outstanding policies of the Thatcher governments and perhaps the single greatest enabler of social mobility and popular capitalism) was Sir John's idea, and the Bill bears his name as he piloted it through Parliament as Minister of State.
The prospect of selecting a new candidate is causing great excitement, both amongst the members and from those on the Parliamentary List, who are salivating at the opportunity to represent one of the UKs most beautiful constituencies (see below) with its 18,000 majority. We have a large, wealthy and vibrant Association, a full time Agent and hold 54 of the 56 council seats in the constituency. And it's just 50 minutes from London!
The brazen chutzpah of candidates never ceases to amaze me. Sir John announced his retirement at last year's Association AGM. I was not there as I had to attend to Tunbridge Wells AGM on the same night. Within five minutes (literally) of Sir John's announcement I received a text message from a Parliamentary hopeful from Leicestershire (who I had never heard of, let alone met) offering to 'pop down' and help with our by-election. I have no idea how he heard the news, tracked me down and obtained my private number. Perhaps these people walk around with dossiers full of names and numbers of agents and chairmen, just in case an incumbent member should be knocked down by a bus.
Anyway, I digress. The beauty parade has already begun. One hopeful appears to have moved her ageing mother into a rented house in the constituency, who is now busy signing up friends and neighbours at £25 a time (kerr-ching!). Another is here so often I am going to suggest the County Council name the southerly section of the A20 after him. Another must have a never ending group of friends in the area, as every time we have a campaign day he just happens to be in Kent visiting friends and is able to drop-by to help. You have to admire their tenacity.
No doubt when the selection meetings commence they will all claim local knowledge and local roots. Which brings me nicely back to the village I wrote about at the top of this blog. I am going to arrange for a member of the selection panel to hold up a picture of the village sign and ask "how do you pronounce the name of this village?" then sit back and enjoy the look of horror. For whilst Ordinance Survey (and the village signs) spell it Trottiscliffe, locally it's written Trosley and pronounced Trozli (see HERE)
But if you survive the Trottiscliffe, Trosley or Trozli test, there are plenty more.
How about Wrotham (pronounced Ru-tam), Ightham (Ite Ham), Crouch (Croosh) and Shipbourne (Shibbun). And then there's the hamlet of Basted. You would think the wealthy inhabitants of this small rural community built around a water mill would welcome the opportunity to say they live a a place named Basted (as in basted the turkey). But no! Pull over your car and ask a tweed-suited Telegraph carrying local if they know where Basted Mill is they will shout "Bastard" at you - pleased at scoring a double-whammy; proving with one word that you're an interloper and also enjoying the look of shock on your face as you wonder why a Mrs Marple look-a-like appears to be swearing at you for no reason.
Even the constituency name has its pitfalls. Tonbridge is pronounced TUNbridge never TONbridge and Malling as in 'the dog is mauling a bone'. Get either wrong and you'll be back on the City Seats Initiative list!
Finally, if you are Parliamentary hopeful and the above hasn't put you off, I earlier referred to TUNbridge and Mauling being of the the UKs loveliest constituencies. Just in case you have never visited out little corner of Kent, here are some photographs of our towns and villages. I am so fortunate to work in such a wonderful place.
The village pictured above is a lovely but not untypical example of the hundreds of villages and hamlets which make up the Tonbridge & Malling Parliamentary constituency. It nestles beneath the North Downs Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. It is called Trottiscliffe. And it's dangerous!
Why is it dangerous? Because, along with many of its neighbours, the pronunciation of its name lays a vicious trap which has caught-out hundreds of newcomers, grockles, interlopers, estate agents, delivery drivers - and, I suspect, soon to be Parliamentary hopefuls.
Later this year Tonbridge & Malling will commence the procedure to select a new candidate. Due to longevity and outstanding service of our incumbent Member, Sir John Stanley, there has not been a Parliamentary selection for over 40 years. Sir John was selected in 1972 and has served the constituency ever since. Viewed now as one of the Grey Beards, Sir John was once Margaret Thatcher's PPS and for much of the 1980s and early 1990s he was a Minister of State for inter alia Armed Forces, Housing and Northern Ireland. My office still has the steel plated bomb and bullet proof front door as a memento of his time in Ulster! The sale of council homes to sitting tenants (one of the outstanding policies of the Thatcher governments and perhaps the single greatest enabler of social mobility and popular capitalism) was Sir John's idea, and the Bill bears his name as he piloted it through Parliament as Minister of State.
The prospect of selecting a new candidate is causing great excitement, both amongst the members and from those on the Parliamentary List, who are salivating at the opportunity to represent one of the UKs most beautiful constituencies (see below) with its 18,000 majority. We have a large, wealthy and vibrant Association, a full time Agent and hold 54 of the 56 council seats in the constituency. And it's just 50 minutes from London!
The brazen chutzpah of candidates never ceases to amaze me. Sir John announced his retirement at last year's Association AGM. I was not there as I had to attend to Tunbridge Wells AGM on the same night. Within five minutes (literally) of Sir John's announcement I received a text message from a Parliamentary hopeful from Leicestershire (who I had never heard of, let alone met) offering to 'pop down' and help with our by-election. I have no idea how he heard the news, tracked me down and obtained my private number. Perhaps these people walk around with dossiers full of names and numbers of agents and chairmen, just in case an incumbent member should be knocked down by a bus.
Anyway, I digress. The beauty parade has already begun. One hopeful appears to have moved her ageing mother into a rented house in the constituency, who is now busy signing up friends and neighbours at £25 a time (kerr-ching!). Another is here so often I am going to suggest the County Council name the southerly section of the A20 after him. Another must have a never ending group of friends in the area, as every time we have a campaign day he just happens to be in Kent visiting friends and is able to drop-by to help. You have to admire their tenacity.
No doubt when the selection meetings commence they will all claim local knowledge and local roots. Which brings me nicely back to the village I wrote about at the top of this blog. I am going to arrange for a member of the selection panel to hold up a picture of the village sign and ask "how do you pronounce the name of this village?" then sit back and enjoy the look of horror. For whilst Ordinance Survey (and the village signs) spell it Trottiscliffe, locally it's written Trosley and pronounced Trozli (see HERE)
But if you survive the Trottiscliffe, Trosley or Trozli test, there are plenty more.
How about Wrotham (pronounced Ru-tam), Ightham (Ite Ham), Crouch (Croosh) and Shipbourne (Shibbun). And then there's the hamlet of Basted. You would think the wealthy inhabitants of this small rural community built around a water mill would welcome the opportunity to say they live a a place named Basted (as in basted the turkey). But no! Pull over your car and ask a tweed-suited Telegraph carrying local if they know where Basted Mill is they will shout "Bastard" at you - pleased at scoring a double-whammy; proving with one word that you're an interloper and also enjoying the look of shock on your face as you wonder why a Mrs Marple look-a-like appears to be swearing at you for no reason.
Even the constituency name has its pitfalls. Tonbridge is pronounced TUNbridge never TONbridge and Malling as in 'the dog is mauling a bone'. Get either wrong and you'll be back on the City Seats Initiative list!
Finally, if you are Parliamentary hopeful and the above hasn't put you off, I earlier referred to TUNbridge and Mauling being of the the UKs loveliest constituencies. Just in case you have never visited out little corner of Kent, here are some photographs of our towns and villages. I am so fortunate to work in such a wonderful place.
 |
| Ightham |
 |
| Penshurst |
 |
| Wrotham |
 |
| Shipbourne |
 |
| Mereworth |
 |
| Chiddingstone |
 |
| Leigh |
 |
| Tonbridge |
 |
| Wateringbury |
 |
| West Malling (My office is the ragstone building to the right of the clock) |
 |
| Edenbridge |
 |
| West Peckham |
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
Recruiting New Members
A few days ago I blogged about how we (ie, local Conservative Associations) are partially guilty for managing our own (political) decline, as far as membership is concerned. Yesterday I posted how, in Tonbridge & Malling and Tunbridge Wells, we try to add value to our membership by regularly thanking and acknowledging our supporters, and inviting our donors (large and small) to regular complimentary thank you parties.
Today I would like to write a few words about recruiting new members.
Travelling around Kent and the South East I fear many Associations have simply given-up on recruitment. The formidable local activist in her tweed suit and sensible shoes who once banged on the door of every village newcomer, brandishing her membership book, has now long gone to the great Campaign HQ in the sky. Modern activists simply don't like knocking on the doors of strangers and asking for £25, especially in the present climate. Direct mail, which replaced the personal call, is now hackneyed. Recipients so bombarded with appeals from charities and good causes that the letters are seldom even read, let alone actioned. I know of one local Association that raised the funds to write to 5,000 strong pledges as part of a recruitment campaign. They received £220 in donations and recruited three new members - not even sufficient to cover the cost of the stationery let alone the postage.
The best way to recruit new members is still a personal visit. During the 2010 General Election Graham Riddick turned up in Chatham to offer mutual aid. We got on well, and after the election he appeared in my office in Tunbridge Wells offering to help. I suggested he set-up a new branch in the wealthy village where he lives, and off he went with a list of pledges and a supply of membership and banker's order forms. A month later he had recruited 18 new members and formed a new branch. Last year they raised nearly £1000 and on Saturday I will be attending what is fast becoming the most popular branch event in Tunbridge Wells - a Call My Bluff and Cottage Pie Extravaganza. You might well laugh - they've sold over 100 tickets and have turned at least 30 people away. The event will raise over £1000 for party funds and bring dozens of people into the Conservative fold who would have not otherwise been involved.
I appreciate, however, that people with the chutzpah and skills of Graham Riddick are few and far between, and where none exist, we have to rely on direct mail. Sadly, much constituency produced direct mail is somewhat turgid. This is not the fault of the local activists, almost all of whom are volunteers without the technical skills to compete with the marketing departments of big charities, and generally working for Associations without the equipment or funds to produce glossy leaflets.
When thinking or direct mail, however, it's worth remembering that even the biggest and most successful charities offer incentives. Donate money to Worldwide Fund for Nature and you can 'adopt' and name a lion cub, receive a certificate and photographs. Even the National Trust, Britains largest and most successful membership based organisation, offers incentives. We recently enrolled Steve's parents as NT Members as a Christmas gift and were offered a free NT embossed water bottle! If it's good enough for the NT why not us ? When did your Association offer an incentive (other than the opportunity to deliver newsletters at election time?)
Last year I persuaded one of our local members to donate a week's holiday for two in his apartment in Portugal as a prize for a recruitment campaign. 5,000 carefully selected residents received a membership invitation letter and a copy of this leaflet:
Click this link to download larger copy: http://issuu.com/andrewkennedy/docs/portugal_leaflet?mode=window&viewMode=doublePage
This initiative resulted in 74 new members! What's more, the winner of the holiday was a 76 yo lady who didn';t like flying, so she donated it back to auction at the annual dinner!
In April we are launching a new branch in Kings Hill, a very weathy development in West Kent. Rather than just bulk mail and ask people to join, we are offering them a complimentary ticket to a swish local Thai restaurant for lunch with Greg Clark MP. We chose Greg especially for the target audience - he is a young, socially liberal and progressive Conservative in an area with an average age of 36 and an average house price of £670,000. Over the coming weeks the following flyer will be hand delivered, with covering letter, to 7,000 Kings Hill residents:
To download a larger copy, click here: http://issuu.com/andrewke
I will let you know how it goes!
Just a few ideas of what we are doing in West Kent to maintain membership and bring fresh faces into the Party. If you have any specific questions, you are very welcome to email me or leave comment.
Today I would like to write a few words about recruiting new members.
Travelling around Kent and the South East I fear many Associations have simply given-up on recruitment. The formidable local activist in her tweed suit and sensible shoes who once banged on the door of every village newcomer, brandishing her membership book, has now long gone to the great Campaign HQ in the sky. Modern activists simply don't like knocking on the doors of strangers and asking for £25, especially in the present climate. Direct mail, which replaced the personal call, is now hackneyed. Recipients so bombarded with appeals from charities and good causes that the letters are seldom even read, let alone actioned. I know of one local Association that raised the funds to write to 5,000 strong pledges as part of a recruitment campaign. They received £220 in donations and recruited three new members - not even sufficient to cover the cost of the stationery let alone the postage.
The best way to recruit new members is still a personal visit. During the 2010 General Election Graham Riddick turned up in Chatham to offer mutual aid. We got on well, and after the election he appeared in my office in Tunbridge Wells offering to help. I suggested he set-up a new branch in the wealthy village where he lives, and off he went with a list of pledges and a supply of membership and banker's order forms. A month later he had recruited 18 new members and formed a new branch. Last year they raised nearly £1000 and on Saturday I will be attending what is fast becoming the most popular branch event in Tunbridge Wells - a Call My Bluff and Cottage Pie Extravaganza. You might well laugh - they've sold over 100 tickets and have turned at least 30 people away. The event will raise over £1000 for party funds and bring dozens of people into the Conservative fold who would have not otherwise been involved.
I appreciate, however, that people with the chutzpah and skills of Graham Riddick are few and far between, and where none exist, we have to rely on direct mail. Sadly, much constituency produced direct mail is somewhat turgid. This is not the fault of the local activists, almost all of whom are volunteers without the technical skills to compete with the marketing departments of big charities, and generally working for Associations without the equipment or funds to produce glossy leaflets.
When thinking or direct mail, however, it's worth remembering that even the biggest and most successful charities offer incentives. Donate money to Worldwide Fund for Nature and you can 'adopt' and name a lion cub, receive a certificate and photographs. Even the National Trust, Britains largest and most successful membership based organisation, offers incentives. We recently enrolled Steve's parents as NT Members as a Christmas gift and were offered a free NT embossed water bottle! If it's good enough for the NT why not us ? When did your Association offer an incentive (other than the opportunity to deliver newsletters at election time?)
Last year I persuaded one of our local members to donate a week's holiday for two in his apartment in Portugal as a prize for a recruitment campaign. 5,000 carefully selected residents received a membership invitation letter and a copy of this leaflet:
This initiative resulted in 74 new members! What's more, the winner of the holiday was a 76 yo lady who didn';t like flying, so she donated it back to auction at the annual dinner!
In April we are launching a new branch in Kings Hill, a very weathy development in West Kent. Rather than just bulk mail and ask people to join, we are offering them a complimentary ticket to a swish local Thai restaurant for lunch with Greg Clark MP. We chose Greg especially for the target audience - he is a young, socially liberal and progressive Conservative in an area with an average age of 36 and an average house price of £670,000. Over the coming weeks the following flyer will be hand delivered, with covering letter, to 7,000 Kings Hill residents:
To download a larger copy, click here: http://issuu.com/andrewke
I will let you know how it goes!
Just a few ideas of what we are doing in West Kent to maintain membership and bring fresh faces into the Party. If you have any specific questions, you are very welcome to email me or leave comment.
Staffordshire could be the key which opens a long shut door.
"The Conservatives and the Lib Dems have yet again shown their ugly faces
by announcing the closure of A&E and maternity services.
I cannot write what I think about Hunt at the moment or this government
as my words would be expressed in anger and hatred that makes me
no better than them"
by announcing the closure of A&E and maternity services.
I cannot write what I think about Hunt at the moment or this government
as my words would be expressed in anger and hatred that makes me
no better than them"
"Are you aware that over 51 Tories and 3 Lib-Dumb MPs have an interest
in private health care companies and would benefit from the Health Act.
Shameful corruption by a British govt."
in private health care companies and would benefit from the Health Act.
Shameful corruption by a British govt."
"Record fall in NHS satisfaction after David Cameron took control.
This what he and the Tories are doing. Don't believe this Tory b******d"
This what he and the Tories are doing. Don't believe this Tory b******d"
The above posts, and many more like them, appeared on my Facebook newsfeed in recent weeks. Despite their aggressive, accusatory and in some respects defamatory tone, I regard the person who wrote them as a friend. We have known each other for nearly 25 years. We first met in 1990 when I was the Conservative agent in Southampton. 'Dan' (not his real name) was a student at Southampton Institute and came to see me about setting-up a Young Conservative branch. We became good friends, and Dan was one of the few people who stood loyally by my side though some very difficult times in my life. Though our friendship drifted apart, we have kept in touch. Over the years Dan has moved markedly to the Left. He is now a Labour councillor and a full time Unison official.
The point I wish to make, however, is how difficult it is to engage in an open and honest discussion about health provision in this country without the Left foaming at the mouth and accusing you of crimes against humanity.
As partisan as I am, I do not for one moment that think today's dreadful report into Staffordshire NHS is a reflection of the entire health service or everyone who works in the public sector. However, any bad news from the private sector, such as the G4S Olympic fiasco, is seized upon by the Left as evidence of the evils of capitalism, how it is bound to fail and how it must never be trusted. The language used, as shown above, is emotional, aggressive and undemocratic.
At the end of the day the NHS is like any other public service; from waste disposal to road building. They are all services vital to the well being of the country, financed by the taxpayer and carried out by people with skills and abilities which take years of training The only difference between these public services is perception and emotion.
If your local county council built a road project which was dangerous, badly constructed and incompetently managed, there would be uproar. The council, and the contractors, would be damned by the public. Heads would roll and there would be demands for compensation (and rightfully so). When the health service fails, which it does regularly, thousands of times every day, when it cancels operations, misdiagnoses patients, prescribes incorrect drugs, or it's staff are incompetent or rude to customers (sorry, we have to call them patients as this word makes them subservient to the provider), then there is never an acknowledgement of failure let alone never an apology, and God help you if you ever dare criticise the 'angels'.
Try to engage the public sector unions or the vested interests in any discussion about reform and out pours the vitriol. The fact is, the health service will never meet demand and will never satisfy public expectations. How can it ..? It's 'FREE'. And anything that's 'FREE' has no value in the eyes of the consumer. and let's not forget that the appalling events in Staffordshire occurred between 2005-2009, 8 years into a Labour government which poured taxpayer's money into the health service with no regard to outcomes or value.
Regardless of what my Socialist friends wish to think, in over 30 years active membership of the Conservative Party I have never met any member (elected or otherwise) who does not believe that Britain should have a health service, open to all who need it, and free at the point of delivery. However that does not mean the health service in its present form is fit for purpose. It doesn't mean that where the private sector can deliver services more efficiently than the public sector, they shouldn't be encouraged to do so. It doesn't mean that those who can afford to pay for private treatment, thus freeing capacity for those who can't, shouldn't receive tax incentives to do so. It doesn't mean we shouldn't consider hotel charges. And it doesn't mean that every service has to be funded by the taxpayer; why, for example, should a hard pressed family man who cannot afford a night out with his family end up paying for another man's tattoo removal?
Until we can ask these questions in an open, calm and non accusatory way, then we shall never address the problems in the heath service.
Monday, 4 February 2013
Adding Value and Saying Thank You
Yesterday I offered a few thoughts on declining membership and promised that today I would publish a my suggestions about how we could do things better.
Firstly, I must say that I don't have a magic wand. When things are going badly, and our members are outraged or disenchanted, there is little any of us can do as individuals to calm things down. But what we can do is to develop an environment where the member feels valued and is thus less likely to walk away when times are difficult.
What must be remembered is developing our membership base requires two different but equally important strategies:
Firstly, I would like you to ask yourselves why anyone should join, then retain their membership of, the Conservative Party? Even if the member adores David Cameron, is enthusiastic about the coalition and is dedicated to helping achieve more of the same, it takes a certain degree of sado-masochistic self flagellation to be a member. They pay an annual subscription of at least £25.00 for which they receive a plastic membership card and the opportunity to purchase summer and Christmas draw tickets, contribute to the election campaign appeal and give up their day off to walk the streets delivering leaflets and being abused by strangers. Then, of course, there is the branch social event where their wallet will be emptied of even more hard earned money for which they will receive a plate full of food they wouldn't feed to their dog and get cornered by the type of man who wears a suit on a Saturday and is desperate to share his views on why we shouldn't be sending aid to countries which can afford their own space programme.
And what about all those innocent people who join us thinking they might actually be able to discuss policy? Poor misguided fools. The lucky ones will have joined an Association where intellectual discussion if frowed upon, and they can simply drift away disappointed after the first year. The unlucky ones will find themselves at the local Policy Discussion Forum, which are invariably run by a retired disciplinarian school teacher or a parliamentary hopeful who thinks such altruistic work will enhance his or her chances of being selected. Personally, I would rename these groups "Ranting Forums" or in many cases "Barking At The Moon Forums" where every discussion ends up blaming Europe for all of society's ills.
In Tonbridge & Malling we do try to do things differently, and the onus is on putting a small percentage of our income back into adding value to our membership offer and ensuring our members are thanked and valued.
Every other year the Management Committee host a Members' and Donors' Thank You Party. Two years this was held at Hadlow Manor Hotel, which provided wine and canapes for £8 pp. We asked local hand bell ringers to come along and play for £100 donation to their funds. Invitations were sent to all members and donors with the Christmas Draw tickets. Although there was no charge to attend, it did improve the raffle response as very few people returned the acceptance without enclosing at least one book of tickets! Around 140 members attended, resulting in a cost of £1300, of which £700 was offset by a raffle on the night. I calculate another £300 was raised via increased sales of Christmas Draw tickets. In the end, we were able to provide a complimentary thank you event for 140 of our most generous donors for about £500. A small price to pay for the goodwill it generated.
Thank you letters; we are fortunate to have a reasonably large and generous membership who usually purchase about £3500 worth of raffle tickets twice a year. Approximately 200 members or donors respond to our draw appeal. Following each draw, we always write to ticket buyers and thank them for their support and send a winner's list. The postage cost is about £65.00, again, a small price to pay for their support.
Association Calenders; Last year I ran a competition and invited members to submit photographs taken in their own ward or village area. About 40 photographs were submitted with the best 12 photographs being selected for a desk calender. I persuaded our printer, who does very well from our election contract, to print the calenders at cost price in exchange for an advert of the back cover. Through this deal I was able to produce 1000 colour desk calenders for £250. Each member received one as a thank you gift, with the opportunity to purchase more for stocking fillers. In the end, we sold 300 calenders, raising sufficient money to pay for the printing costs. This exercise alone (i) provided members with a platform to show off their photography skills, (ii) enabled me to send each member a Christmas gift of a smart desk calendar containing very nice photographs from around the constituency, and (iii) raised sufficient additional funds to cover the cost. An all-round win!
These are just some of the ways we try to thank our members for their support and, at the same time, add value to their membership.
Tomorrow, I will post some of the innovative ways we have sought to recruit and retain new members.
Firstly, I must say that I don't have a magic wand. When things are going badly, and our members are outraged or disenchanted, there is little any of us can do as individuals to calm things down. But what we can do is to develop an environment where the member feels valued and is thus less likely to walk away when times are difficult.
What must be remembered is developing our membership base requires two different but equally important strategies:
- Adding value to our existing membership offer to encourage renewals and minimise resignations, and
- Pro-actively seeking new and innovative ways to attract new recruits.
Firstly, I would like you to ask yourselves why anyone should join, then retain their membership of, the Conservative Party? Even if the member adores David Cameron, is enthusiastic about the coalition and is dedicated to helping achieve more of the same, it takes a certain degree of sado-masochistic self flagellation to be a member. They pay an annual subscription of at least £25.00 for which they receive a plastic membership card and the opportunity to purchase summer and Christmas draw tickets, contribute to the election campaign appeal and give up their day off to walk the streets delivering leaflets and being abused by strangers. Then, of course, there is the branch social event where their wallet will be emptied of even more hard earned money for which they will receive a plate full of food they wouldn't feed to their dog and get cornered by the type of man who wears a suit on a Saturday and is desperate to share his views on why we shouldn't be sending aid to countries which can afford their own space programme.
And what about all those innocent people who join us thinking they might actually be able to discuss policy? Poor misguided fools. The lucky ones will have joined an Association where intellectual discussion if frowed upon, and they can simply drift away disappointed after the first year. The unlucky ones will find themselves at the local Policy Discussion Forum, which are invariably run by a retired disciplinarian school teacher or a parliamentary hopeful who thinks such altruistic work will enhance his or her chances of being selected. Personally, I would rename these groups "Ranting Forums" or in many cases "Barking At The Moon Forums" where every discussion ends up blaming Europe for all of society's ills.
In Tonbridge & Malling we do try to do things differently, and the onus is on putting a small percentage of our income back into adding value to our membership offer and ensuring our members are thanked and valued.
Every other year the Management Committee host a Members' and Donors' Thank You Party. Two years this was held at Hadlow Manor Hotel, which provided wine and canapes for £8 pp. We asked local hand bell ringers to come along and play for £100 donation to their funds. Invitations were sent to all members and donors with the Christmas Draw tickets. Although there was no charge to attend, it did improve the raffle response as very few people returned the acceptance without enclosing at least one book of tickets! Around 140 members attended, resulting in a cost of £1300, of which £700 was offset by a raffle on the night. I calculate another £300 was raised via increased sales of Christmas Draw tickets. In the end, we were able to provide a complimentary thank you event for 140 of our most generous donors for about £500. A small price to pay for the goodwill it generated.
Thank you letters; we are fortunate to have a reasonably large and generous membership who usually purchase about £3500 worth of raffle tickets twice a year. Approximately 200 members or donors respond to our draw appeal. Following each draw, we always write to ticket buyers and thank them for their support and send a winner's list. The postage cost is about £65.00, again, a small price to pay for their support.
Association Calenders; Last year I ran a competition and invited members to submit photographs taken in their own ward or village area. About 40 photographs were submitted with the best 12 photographs being selected for a desk calender. I persuaded our printer, who does very well from our election contract, to print the calenders at cost price in exchange for an advert of the back cover. Through this deal I was able to produce 1000 colour desk calenders for £250. Each member received one as a thank you gift, with the opportunity to purchase more for stocking fillers. In the end, we sold 300 calenders, raising sufficient money to pay for the printing costs. This exercise alone (i) provided members with a platform to show off their photography skills, (ii) enabled me to send each member a Christmas gift of a smart desk calendar containing very nice photographs from around the constituency, and (iii) raised sufficient additional funds to cover the cost. An all-round win!
These are just some of the ways we try to thank our members for their support and, at the same time, add value to their membership.
Tomorrow, I will post some of the innovative ways we have sought to recruit and retain new members.
High Camp and Pantomime
I often write about the strange and bizarre life of a Conservative Party Agent, but today my job hit new heights of campness, with more than a touch of bizarre!
In between fielding calls about The Gays, I arranged for Danny La Rue's dressmaker, Annie Galbraith, to be guest speaker at the Tunbridge Wells Conservative Ladies' Annual Lunch. There was something ironic (and quite delicious) that whilst the retired majors called in to express their disgust, I was on the other line arranging for the former assistant to Britain's most famous cross dresser to entertain their wives with fruity back stage gossip.
But if you think that it couldn't get any camper - think again...
Having secured Annie's agreement to speak, she added, "would you mind if I brought a friend with me for moral support? He was a great friend of Danny's and whenever Danny was in pantomime he would play one of the Ugly Sisters".
I'm almost tempted to organise a singalong, I can see it now, fifty of Tunbridge Wells' finest Tory ladies, surrounded by Danny La Rue's sequined taffeta frocks being led into a hearty of chorus of Oh! What a Beauty by a semi-retired Pantomime Dame.
I wouldn't miss it for the world - would anyone like to buy a ticket?
Sunday, 3 February 2013
We must stop managing decline
There has been much written over the weekend about Conservative Party members resigning from the Party. This has added to a general narrative that the Conservative Party membership (like that of many other participatory organisations) is in terminal decline. I acknowledge that times are difficult, they always are in mid-term when the political climate is hostile, but we must ask who is really responsible for the decline? I fear that in much of the country many of our Associations have become private clubs of friends who don't want or welcome newcomers, and possibly do all they can to exclude and discourage them.
A few years ago CCHQ did an exercise to test the voluntary party's response to membership and recruitment. I do not know the precise details and I have never actually read the paper, but it's existence and the details have been discussed with me by several members of the Party Board. The following summary is therefore my own recollection of what I was told, but given I have been given this by two different senior sources, I am confident it is accurate.
Apparently CCHQ employed a marketing or market research company to contact 300 local Conservative Associations by letter, email and phone. The communication was from a fictitious person with a real London postal address, who was writing to the local Association to inform them that due to a change of job, he would soon be moving into the constituency and would like to join and get actively involved. The correspondent did not have a local address as he was house hunting, but requested the local Association sent him a membership form and details of forthcoming social, political and fund raising events. Not an unusual request and one which every Association should follow-up. But did they?
Sadly, the majority of Associations contacted didn't respond at all. Of those which did, not all were helpful or friendly. I do not know the precise numbers, but included in the responses were:
Is it any wonder CCHQ look suspiciously on Associations and their ability to manage their affairs competently and efficiently? Is it any surprise that Associations are being encouraged to sign up to CAMS? How many thousands, if not tens of thousands, of members are lost due to complacency, poor organisation and in some cases incompetence? In the last 12 months alone in West Kent I have passed on forwarding addresses for five long-serving, and in some cases active, members who have moved away but asked me to inform their new Association of their details so they can rejoin. In all but one case, they received no contact whatsoever. Even worse when two of the four no contacts were from Associations which have a full-time agent or organiser. Similarly, only last October, during the PCC campaign, I met a couple Borough Green (in the Tonbridge & Malling Association area) who had moved to the village earlier in the year and had asked their old Association to pass on their membership details, which I had never received.
If any reader thinks the above is all a bit far fetched, let me illustrate the problem with a local story from T&M ,which occurred in the last month. I received an email from a man who had recently taken early retirement from the City and wanted to join the Association, get actively involved, join the Discussion Forum and eventually put his name forward as a local government candidate. I immediately replied and sent him an application form and list of forthcoming events. I explained that our own Discussion Forum in T&M only met once or twice a year, but that the discussion group in the neighbouring constituency met regularly and was geographically closer to where he lived. I also said the local branch would be delighted to hear of his interest and would welcome his involvement. I cc'd my email to the organiser of the Discussion Forum in the adjoining Association and also to his local branch Secretary.
Within 24 hours all three recipients had replied;
I despair.
So there, in a nutshell, is the problem we face. Tomorrow I will post how in the West Kent Group (C&A, TW and T&M) we endeavour to add value to our membership offer and thus retain our existing members, and some of the new and innovative ways we approach recruitment to attract new members to join us.
 |
| Those were the days - an archieved photograph of a Conservative branch Afternoon Tea from the 1970's. Most Associations would now struggle to get a turnout like this. |
Apparently CCHQ employed a marketing or market research company to contact 300 local Conservative Associations by letter, email and phone. The communication was from a fictitious person with a real London postal address, who was writing to the local Association to inform them that due to a change of job, he would soon be moving into the constituency and would like to join and get actively involved. The correspondent did not have a local address as he was house hunting, but requested the local Association sent him a membership form and details of forthcoming social, political and fund raising events. Not an unusual request and one which every Association should follow-up. But did they?
Sadly, the majority of Associations contacted didn't respond at all. Of those which did, not all were helpful or friendly. I do not know the precise numbers, but included in the responses were:
- Sorry, we are not recruiting at the present time, please contact us again next year
- If you wish to join, you will need to come in for an interview to see if you are suitable
- Please contact us when you actually move as we don't want to waste time if you decide to move elsewhere
- Sorry, but we don't encourage members who don't live here
- Your enquiry has been passed to our membership secretary who will be in touch
Is it any wonder CCHQ look suspiciously on Associations and their ability to manage their affairs competently and efficiently? Is it any surprise that Associations are being encouraged to sign up to CAMS? How many thousands, if not tens of thousands, of members are lost due to complacency, poor organisation and in some cases incompetence? In the last 12 months alone in West Kent I have passed on forwarding addresses for five long-serving, and in some cases active, members who have moved away but asked me to inform their new Association of their details so they can rejoin. In all but one case, they received no contact whatsoever. Even worse when two of the four no contacts were from Associations which have a full-time agent or organiser. Similarly, only last October, during the PCC campaign, I met a couple Borough Green (in the Tonbridge & Malling Association area) who had moved to the village earlier in the year and had asked their old Association to pass on their membership details, which I had never received.
If any reader thinks the above is all a bit far fetched, let me illustrate the problem with a local story from T&M ,which occurred in the last month. I received an email from a man who had recently taken early retirement from the City and wanted to join the Association, get actively involved, join the Discussion Forum and eventually put his name forward as a local government candidate. I immediately replied and sent him an application form and list of forthcoming events. I explained that our own Discussion Forum in T&M only met once or twice a year, but that the discussion group in the neighbouring constituency met regularly and was geographically closer to where he lived. I also said the local branch would be delighted to hear of his interest and would welcome his involvement. I cc'd my email to the organiser of the Discussion Forum in the adjoining Association and also to his local branch Secretary.
Within 24 hours all three recipients had replied;
- The new member had phoned to thank me for my prompt response and paid his subscription over the phone by debit card.
- The Chairman of the neighbouring Association's discussion group emailed to say she was 'very concerned' that I was encouraging people to attend their meeting, and if he did turn-up it could well effect the 'integrity' of the group, who all know each other and might feel prohibited by the inclusion of outsiders.
- But perhaps worst of all, the branch Secretary where he lived emailed to say that new members were expected to 'prove themselves' for a year before they could be considered as an active members or be permitted to join the committee! (Ironically, this same branch declined to participate in a recent recruitment campaign on the basis they didn't have enough active members).
I despair.
So there, in a nutshell, is the problem we face. Tomorrow I will post how in the West Kent Group (C&A, TW and T&M) we endeavour to add value to our membership offer and thus retain our existing members, and some of the new and innovative ways we approach recruitment to attract new members to join us.
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Equal Marriage
In recent weeks I have been thinking deeply about Equal Marriage and the effect it is having on some of our more traditional members and supporters. Today I have had the opportunity to talk my feelings through with several friends and colleagues whose opinions I value.
The Conservative Party was out of office for 13 years from 1997 to 2010, and has not won a Parliamentary majority for 22 years, ...in part because we allowed ourselves to be defined by the narrow Daily Mail narrative of who we allegedly didn't like or approve of, rather than what we stood for politically.
Given this perception, which we did little to deny, is it any wonder that gay, lesbian, black, Asian voters, or migrants who came here legally to seek a better life, or those who chose non traditional lifestyles; single mums, career woman, or those who choose to co-habit, agnostics, atheists, or those who believe we have a responsibility to the environment, or believe in animal welfare or lived in council housing or worked in the public or third sectors, found voting Conservative anathema (even if they agreed with our policies, which many do).
Whether people like it or not, Britain has changed. Just sit at a coffee shop on any high street or a park bench in any major town or city, or and look at the people around you. Britain is now a multi-cultural, socially liberal society, and as a political party we must reflect the hopes and aspirations of Britain as it is now, not how it used to be when viewed through the rose-tinted spectacles.
Equal marriage alone won't achieve that, but it will demonstrate that the modern Conservative Party is open, inclusive and accepting of people, regardless of how they choose to live their lives within the law.
If the price of bringing future generations into our fold is the loss of support from some of those who have traditional supported us, then I believe that is a price we must pay.
The Conservative Party was out of office for 13 years from 1997 to 2010, and has not won a Parliamentary majority for 22 years, ...in part because we allowed ourselves to be defined by the narrow Daily Mail narrative of who we allegedly didn't like or approve of, rather than what we stood for politically.
Given this perception, which we did little to deny, is it any wonder that gay, lesbian, black, Asian voters, or migrants who came here legally to seek a better life, or those who chose non traditional lifestyles; single mums, career woman, or those who choose to co-habit, agnostics, atheists, or those who believe we have a responsibility to the environment, or believe in animal welfare or lived in council housing or worked in the public or third sectors, found voting Conservative anathema (even if they agreed with our policies, which many do).
Whether people like it or not, Britain has changed. Just sit at a coffee shop on any high street or a park bench in any major town or city, or and look at the people around you. Britain is now a multi-cultural, socially liberal society, and as a political party we must reflect the hopes and aspirations of Britain as it is now, not how it used to be when viewed through the rose-tinted spectacles.
Equal marriage alone won't achieve that, but it will demonstrate that the modern Conservative Party is open, inclusive and accepting of people, regardless of how they choose to live their lives within the law.
If the price of bringing future generations into our fold is the loss of support from some of those who have traditional supported us, then I believe that is a price we must pay.
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